


He was my other half.

by tinystrk



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: Character Death, Grief, Hurt, M/M, Post Mortem Letter, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 15:23:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20176498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinystrk/pseuds/tinystrk
Summary: After Andrés’s death, Sergio came to visit Martín.





	He was my other half.

Martín was of his sofa, wearing the rope that he never quit almost like it was a second skin, a bottle of scotch in one hand listing to music out loud. So loud that it even covers his own thought, that’s precisely what he wants : stop thinking.  
Martín wanted to stop thinking, he wanted to stop living but he couldn’t stop loving. The only person in his life died, his other half died. Andrés wasn’t anymore part of neither his world nor this world and it was too much to handle. 

Being in love with his bestfriend was one thing, yes it was painful but at least he could see him, touch him, look at him, smells him, he was alive even if Martín knew that he will never be more. But at least, he was there to maintain his illusion. 

Now, the only thing left was his memories, memories of a man loving another man that doesn’t love him. 

The music was still playing, and the booze was hitting him hard but he still managed to hear the knock on the door. Surprisingly, he stood up and opened it.  
Imagine his surprise and disappointment when the person standing was the reason why his love died. Sergio, his own brother.  
He was definitely the last person on Eath Martín wanted to see. 

“Either you made a reconversion on delivering food which I profoundly doubt, either you’re here to talk about Andrés and in both cases, I’m going to slap the door on your face.” Martín‘s tone was bitter, almost like he was spitting every words he uttered.  
Sergio held the door by one hand and was looking at Martín with mixed emotions : fear, concerned, empathy, but Martín didn’t want his pity. 

“Martín, I know you have all the reasons to hate me but—” 

Martín cuts Sergio mid sentence.

“But what Sergio ? I should forgive you for killing him off ? And yes you’re bloody right that I have all the fucking reasons in the world to hate you and to have preferred that it was you instead of him.”  
Martín renters in his appartement, knowing perfectly that Sergio will not drop the case so easily, he wasn’t brother with Andrés for nothing. The same determination in everything, the same intelligence. 

“I don’t even understand why you’re here Sergio. To mock me ? To remind me by your presence that you’re here and that he’s not anymore ? You think it’s funny maybe ?” He could feel the tears threatening to roll on his cheeks. Once again. No, not again. He was exhausted, he felt like the only thing he was doing was crying. He didn’t feel anything, just a deep pain. 

“No. No. Martín look please.. You really think that I don’t hate myself for what happened to Andrés ? You don’t think that I would have preferred to sacrifice myself if it was possible ?” Sergio was shaking but he was trying to contai himself, but it was harsh. “I— Andrés was my daily dose of life, he was the one to gave me strength, he was the one who made me enjoy life. The one who gave me the will to fight.” 

“But why are you here Sergio ? You don’t think that I suffered enough for you to come and spread out all your life with Andrés.“ Martín wanted to remain calm, but it was hard. Really hard. He wanted to punch him, to yell at his face that he was responsable for the death of the love of his life. To burden him with all the reasons why the world is a bad place. 

Sergio was nervous, he was enhancing his glasses on his nose. “I came because I indeed wanted to talk to you about Andrés. Or more, let Andrés talk to you.” 

Martín didn’t understand. Let Andrés talk to him ?

Sergio handed a sheet of paper that was on his pocket. 

“I’m sorry. I will never stop being sorry.” And he left. 

Leaving Martín with this folding sheet of paper. He unfolded it and felt the urge to sit because he would have faint otherwise.

“Hermanito, 

If you ever read those words one day, I’m sorry by advance because it means that something went wrong. I write you this the day before the heist. I’m really excited to do it, the plan is perfect.  
I know you were craving to be part of it and to be honest... it’s delicate to say it, even on paper.  
I was the one who asked Sergio not to let you be a part of this. At the beginning he wanted you to be in it, but I was the one who said no. And I know that right now you have a confused look on your face and you’re ready to insult me with all names but I have a good and simple reason.  
I wanted you to be alive.  
You’re my best friend, a second brother, and I couldn’t be in peace if I knew that I was risking both of ours lives.  
I know that it’s really infantilise you but I don’t know how to explain it.  
I need you to be alive that’s all.  
Do I really need to explain myself more ? Of course not, that’s a letter. 

So don’t be mad at Sergio, be mad at me.  
I was the one to jump into the lion’s den.  
He only wanted to protect me, and until the very last moment he did.  
I forced him to make a pact tonight about if things are getting dirty, he must leave me and keep going. He said he couldn’t promise me that and I believe him.  
I know that he will do everything to go back for me but I already tell Helsinki to not save me, but Sergio doesn’t know anything about that.  
And I was hoping he wouldn’t have to, but if you read this, it means that unfortunately it has happened.  
So I know that Sergio came and gave you this letter, and I know you blaimed him for everything. But now, you know that he feels as bad as you. Maybe even more, because he also blaimed himself.

So please Martín, take care of my brother.  
He needs you.  
And you need him too. 

Im grateful for every moments we’ve shared together.  
Im sorry if this feel like I abandon you. 

My priority was always to protect you and my brother.  
And if I died doing it, then I finally did something good with my shitty life. 

Always yours, never forget. 

Andrés.“ 

The last words were erased because of Martín’s tears. This letter was both the best and worst thing that happened.  
He wanted at the same time to burn the letter and to read it again and again. He doesn’t know what to do, to think, what to feel.  
But the only thing that he truly knew was that he could never be able to love someone like he loved Andrés. Never.

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe I love to suffer but I really enjoyed writing this.


End file.
